Can’t stop this thing we started

Ida Scott Taylor wrote: ‘Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering

So there she is, smiling…juxtaposing this old, grey trainstation with her vibrant spirit and optimistic outlook. And it’s as if we’ve done this a million times before, I kiss her on the cheeck and we start walking, talking about everyday-things. And it’s as if we took this walk a million times before. Comfortable.

We get served breakfast in a way too chique restaurant, but we just feel like enjoying all this over-the-top luxury, enjoying eachother. Talk gets more serious, and she’s challenging me to think, think again, taking new points of view. It feels wonderfull having someone who’se not just taking me for granted, but dares me to dare my own points of view. The look in her eyes is getting more intense, I love the way she thinks, I love the way she looks…

Time moves fast and we have to get back. My heart is breathing the air she’s pumping into my life with every word she speaks. I wish I could see her again…
My wish get’s granted as she whispers in my ear right before I have to leave her with her collegues: “You come back after work, okay?”

Okay.

And now we can’t have it…

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes…all you need is one.

“What about breakfast?” the question rolls over my lips before I even realize I’m asking her on some sort of date.
“Breakfast could work out for me,” she answers. “And maybe if we have fun, I can come back when you finished working.” I add, almost subconciously. She looks at me and then laughs: “Ambitious.”

Just an ordinary thursday, and at 11.30pm I’m left wondering where I could take this girl for breakfast the very next morning. There’s a great place in town, but I would need to make reservations, and they’re not answering their phone at this time. Mierda…

I met her last week, she was trying to raise money for a good cause…but it seemed I lost more to her than just money. Today she’s returning to the city close to me, and when she steps off the train, it’s my heart that’s racing…and she’s looking even more beautiful then my memories pictured her.

There’s a girl back home I love…and there’s a girl standing next to me I could fall in love with.

Untill Today

Henry James wrote, ‘Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.’

This year I started doubting everything. Dense mist clouded my eyes and things that once were clear seemed to faint into silent screaming insecurity.
This year I challenged reality to prove itself. It didn’t.

Untill today.

Tomorrow…

Octavio Paz once wrote, ‘Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone.’

There’s something about waking up on saturdays, it just feels as if the world decides to spin a bit slower…
I long for the days when waking up like this felt like being softly kissed by the daylight just for me to live another bright day.

But today, as I felt the place next to me unsleepen, I could only think of being alone. As I realised every little thing I once wished for is now slowly drifting away from me. ‘Cause what if tommorow becomes today, the sun has come out, the cobwebs are cleared away…and still it feels as if she’s more than a day away?